Independent Thoughts

Not too long ago the leftist faction of America’s mantra was “honor diversity”.  My understanding of that was that all lifestyles, points of view and choices were to be “honored”.  Turns out they weren’t serious.

Today I read an article that said that if I didn’t jump on the gay marriage bandwagon I’d be on the wrong side of history.  What?  Why do I give a baboon’s butt about how history will judge me?  I’m not a public figure; I’m a middle-aged guy living in the suburbs.  I don’t want to join the hive, nor do I think I should have to.  I want to simply live my life based on my values.  Apparently, that’s not possible in our current age.  Because by living as I always have, I’ve suddenly become an enemy.  To whom?  To every “right thinking” person in America, if the media is to be believed.  See, that’s the part that bothers me.  The media, as the propaganda arm of extremists on both sides, is using massive peer pressure to get their point across.  Everyone’s doing it, and if you don’t you’ll be square.  Of course, they don’t say “square”, they use phrases like “the wrong side of history”, “unenlightened” and “bigoted”.  Funny, but ten years ago I, as well as the vast majority of this country, had the same opinion that I currently hold and none of these epithets were tossed about.

I’m not “progressive”, nor have I ever wanted to be.  I’m also not buying into the Tea Party line.  I don’t feel the need to belong to either camp.  I've never been an "in crowd" kind of a guy.  Besides, being cool pretty much stopped being an option when I lost my hair.  (But, of course, that’s now a “disease” with a cure, rather than part of being a man.  A modern man has a full head of product packed hair and not another occupied follicle on the rest of his body.  When I was young, that condition was called “pre-pubescent”.)  My bald head spins when I hear people who claim to be “free-thinkers” or “defenders of family values” tell me where to eat my chicken.  Really?  Now I need to check in with the collective mind before I go out to lunch?  If that’s the point we’ve arrived at as a nation, we’re all out to lunch.

In 1980 I was 19 and excited to be voting in my first presidential election.  Jimmy Carter had proven his incompetence and it was time for a real president to take over.  I went to the voting place and proudly cast my vote for Ronald Reagan.  Afterward, at dinner, I got into a fairly heated discussion with my girlfriend’s grandmother. (Yes, I was a rude punk.)  She had voted for the independent candidate, John Anderson.  The basis of my argument was that it was a foregone conclusion that Reagan was going to win, so why throw away your vote?  History proved me right as Ronald Reagan won in a landslide.  The problem is, I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Voting, like morals, isn’t a horse race where we’re trying to pick the winner.  It’s a declaration of our deepest held beliefs.  Can those opinions change over time?  Of course.  But, they change based on how our personal experiences mold our convictions, not because some imbecile on the internet, talking head on the TV or ranting voice on the radio says it’s time to think differently.

When Hitler needed an enemy to rally his cause, he chose the Jews.  They had been living peacefully and contributing to their communities for many years when, suddenly, they became enemies of the state.  This was done through a combination of propaganda and government programs.  Recently public officials in Boston and Chicago have indicated that they would block a private business because they don’t like the political views of the owner.  How is this different from the Jim Crow laws?  It’s one thing when blowhards on MSNBC, Fox News, or AM radio are pontificating.  But, when it goes from citizens expressing their opinions to government leaders exercising their influence, a line has been crossed into very dangerous territory.

C3: Colonoscopy, Cancer and Combat

Last Friday I had a colonoscopy. There were big plans to write of my sleepless night of “cleansing”, the ghastly intestinal Drain-O that made my brain shiver and the silly things spoken under the influence of anesthesia. However, the humor of the situation faded when on Sunday we learned that my father in law may possibly have colon cancer. The lack of hilarity was driven home on Monday when I learned that a coworker has stage four lung cancer.

The message is simple: Get tested.

The insurance I can afford for my family has an extremely high deductible, but when I called for benefits on my recent physical and colonoscopy I was informed that due to the new laws in the United States, they would be fully covered. Even if I had to pay it would be worth the cost.

We live in a wonderful time. Medical advances have made it possible to catch and treat many of the diseases that in the past would have surely been fatal. Who knows? I still may get sick and die. But, in this war I have the ability to gather intelligence on the enemy. Last week I discovered that the enemy isn’t coming at me from the rear. On the other hand, have excellent information that he’s attacking me on the skin of my head. Fine. If he wants to make a bold frontal assault in full daylight, he better be prepared to be cut down in his tracks. I’m not going down without a fight.

Sports Riots

 

Yesterday over 70 people died in Egypt as the result of a riot following a soccer game.  This is unbelievable to me, yet it happens in every part of world.  It plagues all sports from little leagues to major leagues.  But, it rarely seems to involve the participants in the match.  Not the ones who are actually in the heat of battle.  No, it seems to be those watching who feel the need to wreak havoc.

It often is fueled by alcohol, but it has to go deeper than that.  What could possibly make a life so devoid of any meaning that the idea of murdering someone because they’re supporting an opposing team seems like a good idea?

After the contest, the players generally shake hands and display good sportsmanship.  Why, then, do their fans feel the need to destroy property and lives?  Is it any wonder that the title of “fan” is derived from the word “fanatic”?  This is fanaticism that enters the realm of a terrorist mindset.  The idea that someone has based their identity so completely on a particular side in a sporting event that crossing them is risking your life is absurd.

In many ways this is harder for me to understand than regular street crime.  At least when someone commits a robbery, they're trying to gain something, albeit in a completely antisocial manner.  In the case of a sports riot there is nothing to be gained.  So, your team won or lost, big deal.  They’ll win or lose again.  Then what?  Kill again?  This is a pathetic cycle and anyone involved needs to make an effort to find some serious meaning to their life rather than participate in the taking of another.

Norwegian Electroshock Football

For this reason alone, I'm seriously considering moving to Norway.  Enjoy.

Underrated

Is there a better band than “Gary Lewis and the Playboys”? Seriously. Whenever they come up on my Pandora I perk up. Even when singing about heartbreak, they make is sound sunny and fun. They are an extremely underrated band.

So, here’s my list of other underrated musical acts. This is a brief list and I may come back to this subject again, but here it begins.

1 – Stevie Ray Vaughn – Now, I understand that Stevie is a well respected guitarist. But, the fact is he belongs in the number two position behind Jimi Hendrix on any list of the greatest of all time. In many ways, he was better than Jimi because when he played the Blues, you felt it. The problem is that few people were exposed to him in his short career. I actually got the chance to see him a few months before he died when I attended the “Late Night with David Letterman” 10th Anniversary show he did in Los Angeles. He was just sitting in with the band, but he overwhelmed all the rest combined. Years later, I saw a video of him playing in a club. He didn’t look at his instrument one time during the set. I commented on this to a musician friend of mine and he replied, “Do you look at your feet when you walk?”

2 – Pink – Pink oftentimes gets lumped in with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilara. Funny thing is, back when they all started out she was considered the troubled one. Who knew? Anyway, the thing I love about Pink is that her music is personal; almost to the point of being voyeuristic. Her songs come from such a personal and vulnerable place that it feels like she’s truly pouring her heart out. It feels real and, unfortunately that is something that’s lacking in a lot of music today.

3 – Jethro Tull – OK, now, forget about the long haired ‘70s kid telling you “Disco Sucks”. All right, now that you have the image of a younger me that '70s kid out of your mind, think about it. First, they’re named after an English agricultural pioneer who developed the technology of planting seeds in neat rows. B – The lead singer is an anachronistic minstrel with a flute. That’s two self-imposed strikes against them. Still, they rock with tunes like “Aqualung” (Is there a better lyric than, “Snot is running down his nose”?) and “Thick as a Brick”. I once had the opportunity to listen to them on a really high end stereo system. It wasn’t until then that I really heard Ian Anderson’s voice. It's amazing! Behind all of the weirdness he could sing. But, it’s the combination of talent and strangeness that makes them really great. Plus, last I heard Ian owns a fish farm. Now that’s a Renaissance man.

4 – The Ramones – The reason “The Ramones” are on this list is that there is no way of overestimating their impact on music. The East Coast Beach Boys followed in the footsteps of “The New York Dolls” and crushed the fat heads of “Prog Rock” with the big stick of Punk. Stripping songs down to their bare essentials and playing them like they were beating a gutter rat. They were naturally rough without the prissy manufactured feel of the self-righteous, Johnny Rotten. Nor did they take things too seriously like Sid Vicious. And, they held it all together while their lead singer, Joey, and guitarist, Johnny, didn’t speak to each other for over fourteen years.

5 – Men at Work – That’s right, I said “Men at Work”. From their cockeyed singer, Colin Hay, to their flute playing (another underrated band with a flute!), Greg Ham, they were a pure, good time, devil may care band from a land down under. But, unlike the drama of INXS, the monotony of AC/DC, the undeniable sexiness of the Bee Gees or the unending boredom of Olivia Newton John, these guys felt like real Aussies. Like Russell Crowe, only nice. They were so good it almost made you want to eat Vegemite. I once saw these boys in concert at the old Salt Palace in Salt Lake. They had removed the front three sections of seats so everyone could just have a giant dance party. Somehow I ended up in front Greg Ham and about 10 feet from the speakers. When it was all over my cousin had his shirt hanging by one sleeve and we had to find his shoes. Sadly, my ears are still ringing.

The Work is Hard

The Work is hard. That was the first line in an email we received from my son, Niall, today. He’s serving a mission for the Church in Kortrijk, Belgium, right now. He learned Dutch in the MTC and is in an area that speaks Flemish.  It's like being taught English, then being sent to the Mississippi bayou.  It's the same, just different.  He can’t understand their language and people are indifferent to his message. But, he’s got a good attitude and he’ll come through this a better man. I’ve always been proud of him, but in these past few months I’ve grown to admire him and the spirit he possesses.

Going through my mind all day has been this phrase: the work is hard. I had a physical examination today. As the doctor was examining my prostate, I couldn’t help but think that as uncomfortable as this was for me, this is his job. He may have to do this several times a day. The work is hard, indeed.

Niall probably doesn’t realize it, but he pretty much summed up life on earth. Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden and basically told, “Work hard if you want anything.” What a blessing it is to have hard work. There are many people today who would give almost anything to be back doing hard work. Then there are people who think that the rewards of hard work should be theirs without effort. Why? The Law of the Harvest is one of the greatest blessings we have in this life. We work and get rewarded. Depending on the path we chose the rewards may be monetary or they may be more spiritually gratifying, yet they do come. There are also roads we may take that cause the harvest to be disproportionately large or small, still the way we go is in our control.

Each day the roads spread out before us. Most of these roads are overgrown with disuse while one or two are worn smooth from constant travel. Roadside attractions go unnoticed as we robotically travel the trails we’ve trekked habitually for years. Once in a while it’s good to sharpen up the old machete and hack a new course.

In Memory of Weird Beard

I used to have a supervisor we simply called Weird Beard. He was pompous, laughed derisively if you didn't use proper grammar in conversation and generally made forty hours a week more miserable than it needed to be. So, in memory of Weird Beard, here we go.

Let's begin with some weird beards:

Is that a Lemur tail?

The "Chin Strap". This one seems like a lot of effort for a little result. Even if you're in a boy band.

Which brings us to the opposite. The "1970s Biker / ZZ Top Beard". No effort, just free flowing manliness. But, I can't help thinking that the idea of this one is more fun than the actual practice. Like leather pants or a Bon Jovi tattoo.

This guy's a champion.

There's the "Bee Beard". This one isn't gender specific.

And, of course, "Tree Beard".

Which leads straight into the "I'm way too involved in my fantasy world" beard.

Let's not forget the "creepy flesh colored" beard.

This one hits a little close to home, but there's the "I'm losing my hair, but I can still grow a beard" or the "symmetrical head / facial hair" look.

Although, some guys can pull this one off.

And, we'll close with the "I'm so good looking that it doesn't matter what my stupid beard looks like" beard.